PHOBIA! Exhibition! Fri Oct 13th - 22nd....

Hi guys,
another reminder, i know

Exhibition: PHOBIA (Group) Art Gig
Where: CBD Gallery, 99 Elizabeth St., Brisbane (above Govindas Restaurant)
Opening Time: Friday, Oct 13th, 7pm
Duration: Fri, Oct 13th - Sun, Oct 22nd (12-6pm daily, excluding the 13th).
Cost: $5 entry, pay at the door.

*This is a drug & alcohol-free event.

Come along and support some quality local talent! We need you!!

We got a house!

sorry for the late response.. we got one of the houses! (one with green fence out front!)
we move this thursday! thank god! couldnt imagine being homeless..

Applications

we put in our applications for one of the houses yesterday afternoon. i asked the real estate agent if anyone had yet handed in an application for the house and he said no, but then added "keep in mind we dont do first in-best dressed.. we accept the application with the best income and background. and even though we should be alright, i cant help but wonder why the agent told me this.. a simple "no, no one has applied for the house" would have done.

so now, we have to wait 24-48 hours to find out if weve been accepted or not and meanwhile, time is ticking on and we still havent found a house to move into! im growing so anxious because we have exactly 10 days to be out by. its better than 5 days.

i just want to get out and not be the one causing any upsets for other people! This house will be perfect for us for 6 or 12 months. cross your fingers - we really need to get out of this house asap otherwise the real estate and new owner are going to be sooo upset and i am just hoping like hell we wont have to write on any applications in the future that we were once evicted in the past!

eek.

finding a new home

we now have just under 2 weeks to vacate our home and move into another.

our house was sold a few weeks ago and the new owners want to move in right away. we have until the 5th of october to vacate!

maybe we are just hippies and take our time with this stuff, but we havent yet found a new home and the new owners are becoming very worried that we plan on staying here for good. they came through our home yesterday and the lady asked "havent you started packing?" and i said "oh no, not yet. but we will very soon. I just need some boxes."

i think they are worried. oops!

there are however, two homes we looked at yesterday a bit closer to the city than where we are now thankfully (and nearer to both our parents).

here is one... which we both love..

and the other, which we also love....

i have an inspection through both houses on monday morning - hopefully no one has applied for them before then and we can submit an application for one of them on monday afternoon.. i am soo hoping that no one else applies!

cross your fingies for me :)

i think its all up to date

i didnt blog much since finding out i have PND, but the blog should be more up to date now atleast.
some wonderful, painful and really important things have happened over these last few months and atlast i finally feel as though i am getting back to "me".

home sweet home.

overcoming hurt and fear

i have a few people i know who when i see them, my tummy ties up in knots.. for fear that they wont like me and for fear of being befriended and hurt. what do you do when you try to get along with people, for another friends sake, but it just isnt working? you steer clear of those people who make you feel down and less of a person, am i right? what if you need to see these people ona regular basis?

i have been trying for some time now to overcome this. though each time i meet up with these people, i freeze up inside. i cant be myself and i get scared and dont know what to say. i would like to tell them how they hurt me when they say things or presume things about me but i dont want to cause any trouble.

i need to find a place inside me, my own little buddha, who can calm my nerves and bring back the peace.

this is going to take some time..

my happy pants

i just want to tell you about my happy pants. these pants mean so much to me. they inspire me, keep my warm and they tell others a little bit about me, for example, that i love bright colours or that i love comfy clothing!

my happy pants are bright blue and frayed at the ends. they're made of cotton and they have a tie around the waist. you fold the top down once the belt is tied and it has a funky pattern embroidered around the waist!

these are my happy pants, formally a pair of fishermans pants. but i have made them happy

if you see my happy pants, tell them i said "i love you".

bringin' it home..

am soo feeling myself again lately! i just want to make it down to byron and feel the water, receive smiles and happiness from others around me. my love goes out to tahne, who is expecting her little bundle to arrive soon. my huge thanks goes to trude for her inspiration and encouragement throughout difficult times! MWA x

over the last year i have gone from knowing and loving who i am, to losing sight of all things beautiful. depression is an ugly enemy and i am trying to beat the drugs and fight it off naturally. meanwhile, feeling more myself more recently and it feels sooo good to be heading back home!!

my love to all.

new art website up and running...

www.visualartist.info/freebeatstudios

this is my website where you can view my art (under KARE).

two very good friends also share the site, they are Trudy Rowe and Wez.

Our next group exhibition will be held at LEVEL 3, 99 ELIZABETH ST., BRISBANE

7-11PM, 13TH OCTOBER - $5 ENTRY.

please come along and support some great local talent!!

getting back to where i once was...

got my nose repierced on friday. its only a baby stud but its amazing how different it is to the last few times ive had it pierced. the first two times i had it done, i would get this huge pain that would travel right up the bridge of my nose whenever i laughed or smiled. and i thought, maybe its just not meant to be!

the first time i had it done, it fell out after only 2 weeks.

the second time it happened, i had only had my nose pierced for about a week and i kept bumping it and an absys developed. sooo... they removed the stud, put some cream on the absys which disolved it, then repierced the same piercing a few days later... OUCH. the absys came back and wouldnt go away, so i took the stud out in the end, too painful to keep it up.

third time, i got them to pierce my nose with a 16 gage ring. the guy piercing my nose said "ive never had a chick in here game enough to have a 16 gage hole in her nose!" that one lasted a few months, but one morning the end of the ring (it wasnt a closed-off ring) had twisted around and got caught in a lace pillowcase at my mums place - the ring was barely in my nose anymore and it was red and sore. tried pushing it back in, but there must have been a nerve nearby because i started to get that same sharp pain up the ridge again when i tried to put it back in.. so my efforts failed and alas, no more ring in my nose.

its been a few years.

i head back to the piercing shop. she says "okay, we're going to try something a little different to see if this turns out better than the last few ways." she tells me she isnt going to pierce the nose as high as she usually does. obviously i have a nerve in that spot and that's why my nose is so agitated to a piercing.

so she pierced lower than usual, though you cant tell.. and wait for it - no nerve pain!.... well, not yet anyway lol

----------------------
okay, alot of trouble to go to for a nasal piercing. alot of people would have given up long time ago. but this piercing.. to me it symbolises something far beyond explanation in some sense. i first had it done during a difficult period of my life for which i wanted something to symbolise change, even a time of personal growth.

so while it seems silly to some, its a very important part of what i have been through, a symbolic treasure that is very personal, it reminds me that i can get through most things if i just believe in the person that i really am, have some courage and a little faith that everything will work out and be okay

im so glad i am finally getting back to my roots again....

ayla oaktree

as much as its exciting that Ayla becomes older and more active every day, i dont want her to grow up!!

my baby turns 1 tomorrow :( and its predictable, that she will keep on getting older, of course.. but shes so little and crawling around saying "dadda", "mum-mum", the occassional "me" and what sounds like "ayla".....

we all continue to grow until we die, yet we never talk about how we grow as adults. we only associate growing with babies.

everyone grows every day, whether its a part of your personality growing, your feet or even your hair (well, its true isnt it?!)

i just want to cuddle ayla and know that she is going to be safe always. and as she gets older the risks of something ever happening to her get bigger and as a parent, i just want to be there to protect her.

its not a great feeling. i know she will grow and do what she wants and needs to do, though i just want to keep her away from the rest of the world..

my baby.

when i grow up..

715am.. ayla just threw her bottle on the ground. she is still rubbing her eyes so i put her back in her cot to see if she will go back to sleep for a little longer.

today is a beautiful day. birds are out, its overcast (though the rain is just as nice as the sun in its own right) and its peaceful here.

too early for traffic still.... heh.

i think my time at the nearby child care centre is nearly up as all staff are back from holidays and they have been cutting my hours back. i will still give them a call today and let them know im available for work this week, though not sure if they will offer me any.

at the end of the year im hoping to get some interviews with schools or kindergartens and see if i can do some teacher aide work a few days a week. usually work is for a few hrs each day you work so im hoping ayla wont need to go off to a child care.. hopefully she can stay with family!

funny, its fine working in a centre, but you DO get your baddies.. makes you think "my baby is never coming in here"... just because you learn so much about the place.

nothing wrong with the carers of course, but i have seen some of them lose their wits under the pressure of a screaming child and have seen some nasty stuff already. i love working with the kiddies, they come out with some funny stories and teach me things all of the time, but seeing a carer lose their patience over a child not eating their lunch fast enough - you wonder at all why they dont have more carers in a centre, or cut the number of children down and build more centres.

that, or weed through the short tempered staff and say "strike 1"..

i had a little boy scream at me the other day because he was on the swing for half an hour and had all of his friends waiting in a big line to use the swing. they were pretty agitated and complaining to all the staff that this little boy wouldnt give them a turn.

i ask him to stop the swing, he doesnt. so i stop it myself and tell him that he has had a big turn on it, that he can have another turn later but right now hes friends need a turn..

he swings his arms and legs around and screams at me "YOU ARE NEVER COMING TO MY HOUSE AGAIN! " as he storms off kicking bark and anything else in his path..

the other carers look at me laughing and say "do you know him?"

and i tell them "no.. ive never met him before....."

its the child, learning from watching their parent do something at home, understanding that this is the way their parents deal with these situations and acting them out themselves when they feel necessary..

the act of learning to be a grown up.

Exhibition "Phobia"

Exhibition Opening Fri, Oct 13th - 7pm, $5 entry.
Lvl 3, 99 eliz st., bris - above hare krishna restaurant.
----------------
Afterwards..
The Zoo, Valley - Love Outside Andromeda, $16 entry
woooo cant wait!! first valley gig im going to since having ayla ;)

would love LOVE love to see some briscrew - missin you madly!! x

hey now.

first of all, greatest appologies for not writing often enough!

ive dealt with a bit the last few months but finally, am feeling more myself.
i am off medication, im trying to beat depression without tablets.

i have started meditation again and am starting to feel happier, lighter.
the next few posts are more of a catch up.

i hope i can resume this, where i left off.

kare
MWA x

not just the baby blues

i called the clinic again yesterday and told the receptionist that it was important i speak to the dr as soon as possible, she could have easily hung up the phone, though instead she managed to push the appointments back a bit to allow for me.

the dr has started me on medication "lexpro" to treat post natal depression and has asked that i visit her or a councilor who deals with PND fortnightly or as needed. she has asked that i remain on the medication atleast 6 months while i sort through my problems, then she will break the dosage down so i can ween off the medication.

she asked several questions about my childhood, ayla's birth, my relationships with MIL, my mother and my partner and at the end concluded that i have alot of problems i need to sort out.

she said her main concern is my support network - i havent got one. ive got my sister who i can talk to about anything, though the dr. said that one person isnt even enough for someone with no problems. she insisted that i seek out a local mothers group and make new friends in the community - people who can help me overcome the depression and get out of the house a little each week.

since having ayla, most of my friends have moved interstate or simply have nothing in common with me anymore - so they stopped visiting and stopped returning my calls.

the dr. asked me to tell my partner that i have PND and to ask him to try and understand that i need support NOW. also to tell mum and MIL that i need their support, but not overly, just enough that i can talk to them about things and get some comfort.

she asked a series of questions about my mum and why i cant talk to her about things. my mum was raised to NOT talk to anyone about personal problems because no one would help.. and although she knows that people need to seek help she doesnt know how to show any emotion because of the way she was raised. in other words, i can be crying on the opposite side of the table to her and telling her that i dont feel anything for my baby and she will begin to tell me about the specials down at the local butchers shop.

another reason i probably need counciling.

i also study full-time and work anywhere from 6-20 hrs a week - that in which my dr said will probably have to cease for a bit so my stress and anxiety levels can drop down.

how hard is it, when your partner comes into the room and you are sitting down, staring into thin air and he says "how long has the baby been crying for?"

sorry... i need someplace to just.... let go.

i must appologise for my lack of writing as of late. too many things needed to get done and i had hardly no time to relax througout that period of time. lately, those daunting, awful feelings and thoughts have returned to me again and the aren't leaving me with much peace of mind. i was on the verge on the weekend of packing my bags and leaving mika and ayla alone. i cannot explain these feelings clearly, i myself feel so muddled with confusion. although i love both of them so very much, my head was telling me that im not needed, i never was to put it bluntly.

so many more things are now haunting my thoughts. it is time for me to seek help.

my own mother and father havent cared about me since ayla arrived. when they call, their first words are "hows the baby?" and they never once ask me how i am doing/feeling or what i am experiencing. people always visit and run straight to ayla and i feel as though i am not here anymore. its not jealousy - just... i feel so forgotten - like a blank space.

mika openly tells me he loves ayla way more than he loves me, that it will never change. to see him give our baby his utmost affection makes me happy, and at the same time i want to scream and escape from this life.

he asks me if i would prefer him to love me more than our baby, my thoughts are again confused and i think to myself "well, no.. but some affection and support would be nice" and he says "ive never been good at showing much affection, you know that"... yet whenever it comes to the baby, he can show it so openly and easily. unloved, like that blank space.

my mother and his mother constantly take the baby off me whenever i am trying to comfort or soothe ayla. they say "here, give her to me" and i say "no, its okay. i want to cuddle her"... but they take her from my arms. needless to say i feel like a failed mother more than ever, i cannot even soothe my baby.

i cry every few days, not being able to see the logic in anything and again come to the conclusion that i need to leave - yet i never could as my love is too great for ayla.. i need her.

i have these horrible thoughts, i cant get away from them.. if mika and i were to seperate, all i can think is how his family would fight me to take ayla from me... and i cant bear it - just the thought... and yet i cant stop thinking about it either.

i feel like pushing everyone away that comes near her.. failed and exhausted.. there is no logic in it all and i feel like i am suffering - everyone is bonding with ayla except for me.. and im scared.

exhibiting...

(excuse the fact this is also posted on the art blog!)

There are currently four of us, trying to decide on particular dates for our first group exhibition. We are possibly looking at August 2006.

Alot has to be descussed and arranged at the moment and details are etchy. Instead of asking for nothing for my brithday just gone, I am really wishing I had asked for more art supplies instead! But, on with the show.

For this exhibition I need to set some personal and spiritual goals. I've only been waiting a 4-5 years to find a good group of artists who would exhibit their works with mine.

We are going against the grain. Galleries in town want $800 minimum, per artist who has never exhibited, before accepting them to host their own exhibition in a space no bigger than my bathroom.

This is our dream. A travelling exhibition, perhaps a few times each year.

1. To vent all of our creative frustration.
2. To challenge mainstream artists with our paintbrushs and canvas'.
3. To encourage affordable exhibitions for us artists who are poor.
4. To bring creativity, enlightment and entertainment into your lives via artworks.
5. To have fun, dance in the good vibes and smile in the sunshine.

Come join us!

More details to come.....

My Art Blog

Hello, a quick message.
I have started a blog for myself, specifically for art related things! It might include info on other artists works, websites, links, images of my art and others, and maybe even some poetry!

You can either click on the TITLE of this post.. or

You can click on "MY ART BLOG!" in the right hand list of links.

Hopefully, be back to add to this later!
mwa xo.

kare.

almost a month since my last posting. things are just becoming crazy-hectic around here lately. im now working for a nanny agency in the city, by that i mean that they employ me to care for a family and their children permenant par-time, which is what i wanted to do in the first place. so im pretty happy with that.

we went to a friends for dinner and drinks lastnight. they announced they were now engaged. made a point of saying "now there are two couples within the group getting married, all the other males are just slack!"

funnily enough i think everyone pretty much knows that mika and i will never marry and i think the comment was directed at all the other males in mika's group of friends - though strangely enough - none of them have girlfriends.... leaving just mika and myself... hmm.

so.. ayla is 7 months now, as of yesterday. she isnt yet sitting up on her own or crawling, but getting a little closer each day. chubba bubba.

must go. sorry again for the amount of time between the last post and today.

mwa to all,
kare xo

the time limit.

it is 1.55am.

my uncle found out 3 days ago, that he has severely cancerous, very aggressive tumours on one of his lungs, fast spreading to the other.

he met with a board of specialists yesterday in a hospital in brisbane, who proceeded to tell him that he had 4-6 weeks, 6 months with chemo.

i am very worried for my aunt, who has just been told her kidneys are failing her. she is meant to have one major test done, so they can see if dialysis is necessary. though my aunt wants to make sure my uncle will make it.

we dont think she is coping... few dont know if she will survive without him.

what is worse? dying without the chance to say goodbye, or having enough time that everyone mourns for the remainder of your time?

i had a terrible dream.

i had cancer. and i was crying in mikas arms because i would never get to see ayla grow up. my mum and mikas mum, both came over and started clearing out the fridge and doing the washing, quipping

"they wont live here after everything, they will want to move house. so we have to clear everything out."

i do love my uncle, we arnt close but he is a being and he shares these feelings just like the rest of us. in having this dream, i am fully awakened to everything now. and i cant help but think, its far better to not know.

my mum is an emotional wreck at the moment when she talks about it. get her on another topic and she is okay. she is close to her brother, so this is going to be hard for her.

mum has had a tough year. late last year her best friend had a breast removed due to breast cancer, they thought they missed some, it turns out the cancer has now spread to her arms and hands, virtually un-removable. they have put her on a double dosage of chemo, though it is really knocking her body around to the point where she isnt even sure what she is fighting, the cancer or the effects of chemo anymore.

one of mums sisters is also now in remission after having throat cancer last year.

i think mum is really scared. i think having 3 people in her life around her age, effected by cancer, she has realised that sometimes we have to let go.

i dont know how to write it, how to say it and when i think it, i can't bare the thought of it, but i think through all of this, mum somehow feels like her time will be ending soon too?

and it breaks my heart to think that these people and their loved ones are pulled through this circle to the end.

it is 2.21am.

what will i be in 5 years time

1. A mother,
2. A mother to a beautiful 5 year old,
3. Loved,
4. Older, more wiser,
5. A child carer,
6. A hippie mama weeding her vegie garden on cold winter mornings,
7. A good listener, sitting on my verandah saying manis for all the troubled people,
8. Rich with compassion for others

i'm only human.

i can only try.

i miss old friends

more and more, i miss my old friends each day.

just want to say that i love you, i hope you have much happiness and
you are well looked after.

``````````````**************~~~~~~~~~~**~**~**

X.O

Has anyone seen Capote?

If you haven't and you'd like to, please don't take what I'm about to say into consideration.. This is just my opinion upon thousands who have loved the movie...

Don't read ahead if you haven't seen this movie!!

I thought it was okay, though I didn't love-love it. Phillip Seymore Hoffman, who played the gay-writer Truman Capote did a great job, for sure. Though I didn't think he deserved a best actors award. His part was good, though I wasn't blown away by it.

For one, I think I was most upset at how Capote used one of the prisoners to get a 'good story' out of him. He told one of the prisoners "I'm your friend" constantly and "I am writing a book about what a good person you are." After years of visiting this one prisoner and forming what you really think is a strong friendship, the prisoner is sent to hang and requests that Truman Capote, his friend, comes to say goodbye.

Truman says he doesnt want anything to do with him. He has named his book 'In Cold Blood' - about the viscious murder of a Kansas family, detailing just how vulgar the two prisoners are.

His so called friend, the prisoner is upset and asks Truman "Did you really name your book that? I thought you were going to help us.." to which Truman replies "I'm your friend. My book doesnt have a title yet and I wouldn't lie to you.."

When the death penalty is appealed, Truman Capote starts getting worried. He needs the murderers to hang, to have the perfect ending for his book... Some friend.

The prisoners are sent to hang and Capote arrives with his "Your my best friend and I did everything I can" teary speech (But of course, that is utter crap!)

He watches them hang, returns to his hotel where he calls his friend Harper Lee and tells her how dreadful it was and how he did everything he could... to which Harper replies "No you didn't!"

Sorry, I have given so much of it away, but I can't fall inlove with a movie based on someone as un-compassionate as him. I feel sorry for his troubles he had in life, though I do not see him as a great man for writing a book, by betraying others.

I also understand that to write a good book you need to do your research well. In that case, wouldnt it have been better to remain at a professional distance to the prisoners? He thought if he could get that little bit closer to them, he could understand them more, know exactly what happened during the night of the murders and what caused them to do it. Well, he got his book. And he claimed to have lost a good friend out of it, though that is up to you when you watch it for yourself.

Job offer

last week a lady who sits behind me in tafe introduced herself to me.

her name is jodie. she is one of the group leaders in a care program, she takes care of children in primary school after school ends each day, until their parents can pick them up.

she said that alot of people at the centre who do the afternoon shifts are terrible with the children and have no patience for them

and she is trying to help her boss filter through the workers so they can get rid of the impatient people.. so they end up with a group of lovely staff.

i told her i might be interested in working 1 or 2 days a week in after school care, if it means i can still have all morning at home with ayla, so she took my name and number.

i didnt think any more of it.

this morning about 8, i got a call. "hello kerrie, this is amanda and i work at kruger after hours school care. i was wondering if you would be able to help me out by doing a shift at the centre this afternoon? im sorry about the short notice, we are really short staffed and i was wondering if you might be able to help me out?"

i said i couldnt (unfortunately) as mika is at work and i have ayla at home with me.. she said "Jodie from your class told me you were a really nice person and i need new staff who are genuinly nice and care for children. i may have a few days work for you each week, if you are you interested?"

i said i was and she said that if i can, could i please hand in a copy of my resume as soon as possible, she will organise an interview for me and would love to take me onboard.. she asked about ayla and if i would be okay working and i told her that ayla has two loving nanna's who would fight over time with her, and she said that ayla sounds like a very lucky baby..

the call totally took me by suprise.. ayla and i danced around the room when i hung up he he

dream #102

i was away at some wierd camp, and all these girls, we all had our own rooms to sleep in.

when i went into my room i walked up to the bed and had a jungle behind the bedhead, no wall... so i could just walk from my room into this jungle...

i moved something in my room and i realised there was this huge spider there.. he was massive... i had ruined his web when i had moved the object.... so he was pretty upset with me and started climbing on the bed

i ran out and my sister and her bf were there and i told them and asked andrew if he could get the spider out of the room and he said "dude i hate spiders.. but i will try"

we all went back into the room and the spider was on the floor. andrew got a piece of paper and was trying to get the spider onto the paper.. everytime the spider got on, he would scream and drop the paper and the spider..

my sister and i started laughing at him saying "your such a pansy, just get it out!" and he got cranky at me .. he said "yeh? well if im such a pansy you deal with it!" and he grabbed the spider with his hand and threw it at me.....

i woke up as soon as he threw it.. mika was sitting up reading....he thought i was wierd.. i just sat right up and started searching the bed and under the pillow for the big hairy spider lol

he didnt tell me that ayla was sleeping between us... and i felt her arm and i screamed... i thought it was the spider ...

and because i was so groggy when i woke up, mika said "can you put ayla back to bed now that she is asleep?" and when i put her in her cot i stood beside it making sure no spiders were in there with her for about 10 mins lol

Eliminating Disease.

In Australia, in the ten years between 1989 and 1998 there were 581 recorded deaths from disease preventable by vaccines on the current childhood immunisation scheduleL

• 440 deaths from hepatitis B
• 88 deaths from Haemophilus Influenzae type B
• 1 death from diphtheria
• 19 deaths from measles and its late complication (subacute sclerosing panencephalitis - SSPE)
• 14 deaths from pertussis
• 3 deaths from mumps
• 16 deaths from tetanus

(Commonwealth Department of Health & Aged Care 2003:3.)

A disease such as measels is often looked on by people as being a mild childhood illness. Unfortunately, many people are unaware of the dangers of complications associated with measles (and other so called childhood illnesses).

According to information from the Australian Government Department of Health & Ageing http://immunise.health.gov.au/measles.htm (20 Jan 2004), pneumonia occurs in one in every 25 cases of measles and approx. one child in every 2,000 who contracts measles will develop inflammation of the brain (encephalitis).

For every ten children who contract measles encephalitis, one will die and up to four will have permanent brain damage. More deaths were caused in Australia by measles in the 15 years prior to 1998 than diphtheria, whooping cough and tetanis combined.

Immunisation of as much of the population as possible, is the only way over time to ensure the eradication of these diseases.

dream #101

so our minds run rampant with us when we are sleeping. I think i will post dreams on here now too, not that i have them alot, though it is always great to keep track of them, sometimes so you can even try and tell what you are really thinking!

here is one to start me...


mum and i were in maleny together. i went into a pub and there were two sections, you had to walk through an eatery to get to the bar. i walked through and sitting down in the bar was my friend serge and another french guy. i said "oh hi serge!" and he said "hello kerrie! how are ye?" was a quick chat. i got served at the bar and when i turned around serge + friend were gone.

so i walked out of the bar and my friend emily is standing at the front door of the eatery part. she said "hey! hows it going? come to my house for lunch?" i said "okay. where is your house?" and she said "its next door, big queenslander! you'r mum is already there." so i walked next door to the big house. i liked her dog, he was cute and clumsy.

i walked inside the house and saw mum and i said "mum! i just saw serge next door! he is here in maleny!" and mum said "truly? he lives in france, did he tell you he was coming? why didnt you bring him over?" and i said "he went somewhere. but i might go and check." i said to emily "what is your house address? i will try calling serge to tell him where i am." and she said "i live in boonah". i said "isnt this maleny though?" and she said "yeh, we're in maleny, but my house is in boonah." and i said "oh.. that explains it!" i tried calling serge's phone but there was no answer.

so i walked back to the pub. i got to the entrance of the eatery part and my friend holly was sitting there with a friend, eating a meal! i said "hi holly!" and she said "hey kerrie!" i asked her if i could borrow her shoes because i wasnt wearing any (i dont know if i was wearing them in the start of the dream or not). so holly leant her shoes and i walked outside, around the side of the pub and found a large group of people sitting down at the back of the pub. i was looking around and a man said "who are you looking for?" and i said "some friends.." and he said "i cant give you any names though" and i was confused because i didnt know what he was on about. i said "im looking for two french guys, they were here before. i know one of them." and the man pointed to a sign on the wall that said "Dingle Hotel, Goodna" (mind you, dingle is actually a place in ireland that mum and i stayed in while we were overseas lol)

so i shrugged and headed back to emilys house. i just got inside and told mum that serge was staying in goodna when there was a knock at the door.. michael sam, paige, brooke and charlotte (my brother and his family) had just arrived.

then mika's alarm woke me up....

spiral babies

much love, a long wait >>>>>>>> spirally the mama has arrived.

*~* Welcome, Spiral Mama *~*
((((((((((((((( good energy )))))))))))))))

lovelovelove kare, mika & oaktree XO